Thank you, my friend, for your encouragement to just write as much as I feel led. I was feeling apologetic about how I was going on and on. I guess those feelings of insecurity and worry that others don't want to hear what I have to say are still clinging on in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. I'm raising a toast to the end of all those insecurities. And a strong and hearty amen to your final prayer in your last post. I am in deep intercession for myself and you and Echo and all of who suffer from some kind of imbalance in our immune systems. I know that is the final frontier in my body. I have had such victory in every other area, and I am now standing fast until I see the goodness of His hand upon my immune system. I love your tender cry of desperation to touch His robe. I remember praying the very same thing two years ago before coming down here and receiving the beginning of my healing! Amen and Amen!
28-32 (Might as well take this in one whole swallow.)
"And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful; who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them."
Wow! That's a lot to cover. And it's such a huge run-on that I didn't want to break the verses up. I'll just break my thoughts up in paragraphs. I actually have a lot of different thoughts. The first thing I needed to do is go back and remind myself who Paul is talking to and why he would start with such a powerful discourse on unrighteous living.
Paul is definitely talking to faith-filled, Spirit-filled believers in Rome who are walking in rich faith in a very dark place. Very much like we are today, which is why this is such a great time to be studying this book once again. I really can't get over how we are right back here in this book in this amazing season of transition, trial, and breakthrough. I am celebrating the timing and the beauty of our friendship that seems to endure no matter what, just like Paul's relationship with the Roman Christians. How many times I have longed, as Paul did, to be with you and give you a hug in the flesh. I long to have you and your family come and be here with us, soaking up the encouragement of fellowship and peace here in our home. I miss you so much, especially in your struggle now against the scheme of the enemy.
Back in the verses, the transition seems to be one of contrast...that he is talking of the Romans' faith compared to the darkness around them. We stand at the brink of an amazing point in history, one like the early Christians encountered in Rome. Darkness all around, people completely hardened and/or unfamiliar with the true ways of God, even within in the church. We are poised to provide great light, great power, and great breakthrough for those around us through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit and His mighty power working through us for transformation. I have more and more hope and more and more visions of people being set free from darkness. People who live in darkness are actually hungry for something different, they just don't know it's possible.
There were a few words and phrases that caught my attention in these verses.
First, "did not like to retain God in their knowledge..." Pretty much anywhere in the Bible that talks about knowledge of God seems to imply more than just head knowledge...rather it implies experiential knowledge, relational knowledge like we have with each other. We don't just know about each other, we know each other. We have experienced each other. This is the kind of knowledge I think Paul is talking about here...I know this has to be true because some of the later words that he uses to describe the "out" group actually fit me just a year ago...things I've since repented of, finally recognizing that these were contrary to God's Spirit and they were keeping me from having intimacy with Him and thereby were also keeping me from experiencing healing and deliverance. We must experience God to know Him fully. We must retain our experiences and know His full nature...His kindness and faithfulness...and really believe that this is His posture toward us in order to be free of all the other things on this list...the things we are given over to if we don't pursue God in all His holiness and in the revelation of Himself that He gave through Jesus.
Next, "He gave them over to debased minds..." I looked up 'debased' in the thesaurus. Here are some other words that mean the same thing: cheapened, corrupted, crippled, debauched, debilitated, demoralized, devalued, disabled, enfeebled, humiliated, reduced, sapped [of energy], undermined, and weakened.
Wow! I have a very different picture of debased in my mind--more like someone I would want absolutely nothing to do with...you know, pure evil or something like that. Instead, these words actually describe the way my mind was before I really truly encountered the Love of God for me, His intentions to heal me, His grace toward me, that His heart was set toward triumph and victory for my life. Weakened, ineffectual, fearful, full of envy, full of stress and strife, defeated, depressed, oppressed...these are a few of the words that would describe my mind...more: powerless, hopelessness, definitely sapped of energy, weakened in faith, crippled...my heart aches to remember those days of really believing that it was all up to me and that I was completely without the power to change myself, control myself, or influence the circumstances or people around me.
The final phrase that caught my attention was "to do those things which are not fitting." I love this phrase. Because we were made for more than that! We were made to be royalty. We were made to host and reflect the very nature of God in all His fullness, just as Jesus did. We were made for glory, for endless joy, for abundant faith, for undending goodness flowing in and out of our lives. We were made to be Jesus' inheritance. It is not fitting that we should act in the ways Paul describes next. It is beneath our rightful position as co-heirs with Christ to be corrupted, feeble, crippled, etc. in our thinking. We were called to higher living. And yes, God has to walk away, because the weight of His presence on those who are feeble in their thinking is too great...He walks away, His Spirit ever interceding, calling out to those who will truly heed His call to repent in their thinking, so that He can bring healing to the land...to the people...to all those who remain in darkness by their own choosing. I am so glad that I have heard His call and have repented of this debased mind. I know my mind is being renewed day by day, and I grow stronger in my conviction that I am royalty and that everything He has for me is available to me, and it is all good. In fact, to this end, I prayed for a man on Sunday who was having trouble with his eyes. His eyes wandered around as though he were actually blind, though he was not really blind. He could not focus on things. He said it was hormonal. I prayed for him and literally watched clarity and focus return to his vision. It was like there was a veil over his eyes, and as I laughed over him and prayed for him, the veil lifted. It was stunning! I know this is just the beginning, too. I am going to see more people healed, because this is God's will for all men! To know the Love of God, to be healed of their stuff, then to turn around and heal others. But first, we must repent of our debased mindsets.
This brings me to the long list of the fruit of the debased mind that Paul describes. This list makes my heart ache, not just because so many live with this kind of fruit, but because I was living like this less than a year ago. Man, if I didn't know how much He loves me, how He has truly forgiven my sins and cast them as far away from me as the east is from the west, I would still blush (which I did many times after I started repenting last September) at some of these.
Here are a few of the words in this list that fit me just a year ago: Unrighteousness (the opposite of faith, which is the righteousness of Abraham and all the saints), covetousness (I didn't believe there was enough for me, so I thought I would have to take from someone in order to have enough for me; this manifested in a longing in my heart for things I believed I could not have that others had, giftings, anointings, calls, and even material things), maliciousness (yes, really; I know I seem sweet, but I wasn't always sweet), full of envy, full of strife, full of deceit (I dumbed down the message of the Bible to suit my experience, instead of allowing Him to call me up and out to realize that I was living beneath the fullness of all He has for me), whisperers & backbiters (I complained about other people and what they were or weren't doing, including my husband, instead; when I finally repented of this, I actually saw that I was guilty of the very things I was judging them for...this is one that made me blush a lot when I would think of my sin), untrustworthy (when we do not have the mind of God, He cannot trust us with His secrets; as an intercessor, this really crippled my ability to experience fullness in my gifting. God now shares His secrets with me about others because He knows He can trust me not to judge, not to try to orchestrate my solutions for people. He knows I will pray what is on His heart for people. It is such a pleasure and privilege to intercede out of joy and hope rather than worry and fear!), unforgiving (my path through repentance and toward wholeness has included a ton of forgiveness...a lot for my parents and my husband, some for friends and other relatives, a lot toward myself and even of God. It has been a lot of work to go back and really uncover all these areas that were "closed" to God from unforgiveness; even areas where I thought I had forgiven, only to realize that it was partial forgiveness and not complete forgiveness).
Paul says people with these mindsets are deserving of death. That is strong language, but I understand...because what we believe is what we propagate in our lives, what we sow seed for in the lives of others. I know that Paul was not advocating stoning or death for these people. He was filled with the compassion of Jesus' Spirit, and Jesus' Spirit longs for all men to come into their destinies, into full knowledge and experience of all that God has for them in relationship with Him. What I pray now is that my life will draw others into this transparent, honest life of repentance of mindsets that do not line up with the mindsets God has ordained for His children. I am seeing breakthrough in my husband's mindsets as I have forgiven him and also as I've begun to speak differently, think differently, and act differently because of the revelation I've had of these truths. I am seeing fruit of a very different nature come forth now, a year later, and it is exciting. Exciting is really an understatement. Words really do fail me here, so I will just turn to prayer now.
Father God, thank you for Your Word which brings life to all who ingest it. Thank you that Your truth is sinking deeply into the soil of our desperate and hungry hearts. Thank you for my sister, who so desperately wants all that You have for her. Shower her with Your kindness that leads to repentance in any of these areas that she is living beneath the fullness of all that You've called her to. Show her Your gentleness in revealing the areas of wounding that need her forgiveness, in revealing the areas of crippled mindsets that need your gentle and tender correction. Show her the lavishness of Your love, which is what truly led to my turnaround. Drive out all fear with Your perfect love. Continue driving out all fear in my life. Thank you for showing me more pockets of fear in my life, as You did through Tina's words about my insecurity in sharing my thoughts. Thank you for such a dear friend who is as hungry as I am for everything that You have.
Father, I thank you for Your healing touch upon Tina's body, and I thank You for Your healing touch upon Echo's body. And I thank You for Your healing touch upon Mark's mind and his soul. Father, thank you that You are bringing increased revelation to Tina and Echo. Increase the revelation to Mark, as well. Draw them near to You and give them all they need for this season. Father, especially for Echo, I thank you for the breakthrough You have waiting around the corner for her. Thank you, Father, for bringing us back together again through this season. Amen.
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